I am wondering...
Has anyone else out there ever gone somewhere solo (but with all the kids) and was then so fed up by their behavior that after 15 minutes, we turn around and come home with mom bawling her head off?
Just checking.
(if anyone has any tips about how to help your kids behave in public, I'm all ears!)
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It has happened several times that I was on my way, taking my kids to do something fun, and they had been so horrible that morning that they didn't really deserve to go. But the alternative of staying at home with them fighting all day was so much worse than just taking them to do what ever fun thing we had planned. Crazy huh?
What?! Children are supposed to obey in public? Nothing is absolute, but the book 'Parenting with Love and Logic' is hands down the best parenting advice EVER!
Basically, it is learning to parent without the emotions. I'm a logical person, so this has totally transformed the way I parent.
The style is all about teaching children to be accountable for their behavior. "Oh, I know you guys really want to join me and your dad for ice cream, but remember last time when we were out in public.....? I bet next time you'll behave differently." And then you go get ice cream while a babysitter stays home to the wailing. It usually only takes ONCE!!
Now, how do we get them to go to bed on time?!!!
Been there!! When I was a kid we had a two acre front yard. One consequence that my parents used was to make us run laps around the yard. There are many times when kids are FULL of ENERGY and need to get it out or they start misbehaving is different ways. I have taken my boys outside with a ball, frisbee, or something like that and made them get out some of their energy. It generally gives me time to take some deep breaths, roll up my sleeves and dive back into being a joyful mother of children. :)
I think that you were very brave to take them out on your own! Shamefully, I can't handle taking my TWO children out with me alone at all. Poor Michael (he likes to be out and about with us) gets dragged to the grocery store pretty much every time I go. (At least we're going to the store now. For awhile after Laura was born, I was having my groceries delivered every week!)
The problem is that children see things in a much different way than we do. While we are busy trying to get something done, they are learning and processing and trying to make things FUN! And sometimes they are bored and tired and hungry...
I wish that I had some advice, but I am really still trying to figure out this parenting thing myself. If you like parenting books (I do), I would highly recommend "Setting Limits" by Mackenzie, "Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child" by Gottman, and "Grace-Based Parenting" by Kimmel.
("Setting Limits" is usually easy to find. I had a hard time finding the Gottman and Kimmel books at the library, though. If you look up the books on Amazon and decide you want to read either of them, you can borrow my copies if you'd like. Let me know and I'll send them to you.)
Really, though, I'm sure that you are doing a wonderful job with your kids.
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