***Disclaimer*** This post is full of deep faith based musings and experiences. Proceed at your own risk!!
A few days later, I was talking with my dear roommate. She had seen me up and down, confused and deliriously happy, heartbroken and comforted. She was concerned about me, and like a true friend, helped me see to the heart of the matter.
"What is it that you are looking for?" she tenderly asked.
As I sat, thinking about my reply, she continued.
"What more do you want?"
I was stunned. I had never thought about it in that way. What more DID I want? I couldn't see into the future to see how he would react to all the things life would throw at us. But I was sure of a few things:
1. He loves me.
2. He loves God.
3. He is a faithful priesthood holder.
4. He loves the scriptures and temple worship.
5. He is humble and honest.
6. He is a hard worker.
7. He wants to do God's will with his life.
I thought of these things and re-asked myself my dear friend's question--What more do I want?
I had to have faith. I couldn't know everything at this point. But I knew that I had an important decision to make. I wanted to marry him. I couldn't let him get away. I loved and respected him. I wanted to spend my life learning to love and sacrifice for him.
I knelt by my bed and said a different kind of prayer. All this time I had prayed that Heavenly Father would make the decision for me. Now I wanted to make my own decision. I wanted His seal of approval on my choice. As I prayed, a feeling of peace and joy flooded my body. I had my answer. He was my choice. And the Lord approved. Just the way I wanted it.