Saturday, August 22, 2009

Our crazy/silly/roller-coastery story, part fifteen

Mr. TD&H flew out the day before the wedding. The day before that he called me, a little concerned.

"Um, we have a problem with the tux," he sputtered.

I think I was putting up a very heavy piece of wallpaper at that moment, the phone cradled between my ear and my shoulder.

"WHAAAT?" My not-so-calm voice went up about an octave and a half.

"Well, I went in to get my measurements taken, and I gave them the numbers I just got when I ordered my wedding suit. Somehow they got all messed up."

"How?" I demanded.

"I don't think you want to know," he mumbled.

"Oh yes, I do," I sarcastically spat back.

"Let me paint you a picture. The jacket is about 3 sizes too big. The vest is too short. The shirt collar is about two inches too big and the sleeves are about 4 inches above my wrists. At least the pants are long enough but the waist is a size too small. I look ridiculous."

I felt my pulse start to race. You may think that I should have told him to just go and get another tux. The only problem would be that Mr. TD&H is not an exaggeration. Emphasis on the T. 6'8" to be precise. Not an easy body to clothe on short notice.

I think he knew I was starting to panic.

He tried to make me feel better.

"The guy at the tux shop gave me some fake cuffs that we can tape on to my forearms so that it looks like the shirt sleeves are just fine."

Even now I can't help laughing out loud. Really loud.

Taping cuffs to your arms? Are you kidding me? Who does that?

The answer would be: Mr. TD&H.

When he flew in the next day, my first request (after a much needed hug and kiss or two :) was to see the tux. When we walked in the door of my house, I made him put it on to see what we could do.

He looked great. Even in a HORRIBLE tux. I guess it pays to be not only tall, but also dark and handsome. (Emphasis on the handsome!)

I don't think anyone knew that his shirt collar was folded at the back of the neck and held together with his bow tie. Or that I could grab a couple fist-fulls of his jacket behind his back and it would still be loose. Or that we pulled the adjustable neck-part of the vest all the way out to accomodate the beautifully long torso of Mr. TD&H (and that you could see the clasp in only a few wedding pictures).

Oh, and the magic cuffs. He just needed to be sure NOT to take off his jacket.

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