I am tired today.

Not just run-of-the-mill tired, but bone tired, stone-cold tired. Do you know what I mean? I am sure you do. I went to the gym this morning to get a little exercise and decided I couldn't face another day on the treadmill with nothing to distract me. So I went to a class called Body Sculpting. It should have been called Body Destruction 101. Seriously. I bared lived through it.

I don't think of myself as a wimpy person. In fact, I think I am rather strong. I have some decent cardio fitness as well, thanks to a treadmill that can show DVDs--hence my ability to do 5k races in less than 30 minutes. Not an Ironman (ironperson?), but not a slouch either.

I think my opinion was decidedly changed today.

Shoulders are not meant to be worked out. Moderate workouts on quads are acceptable as long as it doesn't include endless sets of lunges of many varieties.

I am humbled. I am a wimp. The lady that taught the class didn't look like she was in such great shape, but man, she kicked my trash from here to Jupiter (and back). I am not sure if I have it in me to go again.

I AM a wimp, but at least I am a self-aware wimp. That's important, right?

Keeping track

I keep track of all sorts of things. I love to make lists; I love schedules and routines. I think that it is a good thing.

Except in one way.

I keep track of stuff in my marriage. Like when I am working and he's watching TV. After a lot of resentment and acting like a bear, we actually communicated. I didn't want to hear it, but I got schooled where "tracking" is concerned. He's right. It is like forgiveness--the only one hurt is the one harboring the ill feelings. I want my husband to be able to read my mind (or at least hear the "red alert" alarm that goes off when I need his help but am too overwhelmed to ask for it), but that is NEVER going to happen. So if I am stewing while he is oblivious, who is hurting? Duh. That is not to say that I am suddenly going to assume the "rug" position. It is just a matter of the mind. I don't need to keep track. Jesus doesn't keep track (thank goodness!). He just keeps giving and is hopeful that we will receive it with joy and bless others.

If any of you have any great ideas of conquering tracking, let me know. I really need all the help I can get.

But lest you should think I am bagging on myself, I'm not. I am patting myself on the back that I see my weakness and now am empowered to deal with it and change. Cool!

P.S. again: I am still working on the pics. Any ideas about how to make that part easier too?

I love finding free stuff on the internet

So, here's the thing. Math facts are hard for one of our amazing kids. He just struggles with the rote memorization of it. I've worried over it, nagged him, looked for ways to help him, but to no avail. When I was in grade school, I just memorized it. No questions asked. I just did what was asked of me, without complaining. Truth is, I actually liked it. I like predictability. I liked that someone could ask me some math fact, and I could pull it out of my memory--lightning fast. That doesn't seem to be the case with the younger generation. I worry about my boy not knowing his math facts, yet almost all of his teachers don't share my worry. He seems to be one of the more prepared students when it comes to math. Not to bash my boy, but that is truly scary. I don't want him to be mediocre, I want him to have the skills to be able to make change, figure out word problems in his head, without a calculator. yes, I know that every computer has a calculator built in. But did you know that we aren't always tethered to a computer? That we actually exist (or maybe even thrive) in a world apart from our computers. I want my kids to be able to figure things out all by their lonesomes. Is that asking too much? Sometimes I think I may be.

Well, I just had a conversation about just buckling down and memorizing the facts. I think it is important to have those things under one's educational belt. So I am motivated. And grateful for the internet because I found this. Basically, this is a free site dedicated to helping people get their math facts memorized. Addition, subtraction, multiplication, division. You name it, they will train you. Lovin' it! It must be the "need for order" personality within me that thrills to the idea that in only 3 five-minute sessions a day, you can train yourself to learn these facts. I even did a "workout" with the times tables. And yes, I still got it, baby!

So, check it out. There is all sorts of great stuff on this site. And, as always, if you have found something that has really worked for helping your kids with math, I would LOVE to hear about it!

P.S. savannah, thanks for the reminder that I need to post pictures. You are a great photo-cop!

P.P.S. I will try REALLY hard to get some pictures up tomorrow all about the kids and their cousins and the amazing snow fort they built this afternoon. Thanks for keeping me in line, girl!

Big girl panties

And no, I am not the big girl (although...)

I was feeling a little crazy this morning, and Larry took off Sarah's diaper and never put it back on (it was wet, but from the outside--a glass of spilled water). Put it all together and you have a two-year-old in big girl panties.

She has already sat on the potty twice this morning, but between visits she stood outside of the bathroom in which Larry was showering and peed. On the carpet. 5 feet from the toilet. I know I shouldn't be annoyed, but...pee on the carpet? EEEEUWWWWW! Obviously, I haven't done potty training in a while. I am hoping to be on top of things, but we'll see...

Wish us luck (and helpful bladders)!

Fireproof

Larry and I saw a movie last night that we really enjoyed. I didn't know what to expect from it, but I ended up liking it. It is a story about a couple's marriage on the rocks, and what they do to save it. It is about selfishness and pride within relationships, sin and addiction, and the saving power of Jesus Christ. I thought that it was a bit heavy-handed where the gospel was concerned, but that is just aesthetics. I totally agree with the message, I just don't always enjoy being hit over the head with it. Having said that, I hope it won't deter anyone from seeing it. There is so much good in this movie. It touches on so many timely truths about saving families and how God really is willing AND ABLE to help us to overcome the world in our relationships with the ones who matter the most.

I also thought its treatment of pornography to be very refreshing. We live in a world that doesn't seem to condemn the viewing of pornography as an evil, destructive force. Only in church addresses and magazines have I felt like people are speaking out about how it can destroy people, and therefore, families. I was happy to see that others are also speaking out about this corruption in our time, in a way that makes it clear that it is NOT okay, normal, or acceptable behavior. AMEN and AMEN. I also am very glad to see an example of people taking responsibility for their actions, realizing that no one is going to change them but themselves.

Enough on that, the film is called Fireproof. I hope you will see it--there is much to be gained.

Can I just say that I love my husband? Money is tight, yet he bought me tulips (and roses). I LOVE tulips. They are my all-time favorite flower. Absolutely. Hands down. Even my kids know that I love tulips. Roses are nice, too, but nothing touches my heart like a tulip.

It is the little things that make a woman feel special. Not to sound corny, but I think coming down in the morning to clean dishes in the dishwasher (that I didn't load or start) is one of the most romantic things around. I know, I know, I am easy to please. Thank goodness, I think.

The mother ship has landed

Well, we are here in Ogden. We have already spied out the temple, the train museum, Farr Better Ice Cream, the Treehouse Museum, and so much more. We have figured out that it is only 1/2 mile to one of the Ogden River Parkway entrances--which will be AWESOME come spring for bike riding, running, etc. We also have a pool in our area that we can go to EVERY DAY in the summer. Can you guess what our summer will look like? Totally cool! (I hope, anyway--Utah summers are way too hot for my "native" California blood (I had to put native in quotes because I was actually born in Idaho).

Can I say something about moving? Well, maybe I shouldn't. I was taught that if you don't have something nice to say, you shouldn't say anything at all. I guess that sums it up. I do have one good thing though. Having a clean slate in a neighborhood is kind of nice. That way you can introduce yourselves to everyone and not have any awkward "just waving hi" relationships. And you get to be a 100% home and visiting teacher all over again. And everyone thinks your kids are great because they were well-behaved once in Primary. Life's little pleasures, right?

William's teacher reminds me of my mother-in-law. I think that has really helped him get settled quickly. He just loves Grandma Johnson. The first day I picked him up, Mrs. Ward said he was "EXCELLENT!" Gotta love that! He got in the car and said, "They don't give marks at this school!" (He had some behavior issues in his last class, and when he misbehaved, he got marks.) Everyday he comes home saying that he wasn't mean to anyone in class. It will certainly be a red-letter day when he comes home saying that he was nice to all his friends. We'll get there!

Hadland has had a little harder time making friends this time. Poor guy. He has never completed two years at the same school. This makes school #5 for him in the five years he has been in school. He is a trooper, though. Maybe we'll stick around a little longer this time. Who knows? We don't want to mess up his "winning" streak, do we? :) On a happy note, we got his class list to do valentine's, and there was a Kaileb Brandley in his class. I pounced on that and wondered if he was related to Scott (bro-in-law). He is, and I think it may be an opportunity to make a friend. Hip, hip, hooray. Thank goodness for Scott's huge extended family! We love you, Brandleys!!!

Lauren is still kind of wondering what happened to school for her. I told her that I would do school with her, but she is still waiting. I'd love to get some sort of song that helps learn letter sounds. William sang one in his preschool, but I don't remember it. Any help would be greatly appreciated! She and Sarah are sharing a room, and it is hilarious (and sometimes really annoying) to hear how long they goof around before going to sleep. I have to remind myself that some of my best memories are going to sleep with Laurel (quoting "Jabberwocky" and singing the Lawrence Welk and Donny and Marie show themes).

I think this move has been hardest on Sarah. She really missed her mom. Although I was always in sight, I was never truly available. I finally got the message when she kept saying "hold me, stand up." She didn't want to stay out of the action, she wanted to be right in the middle of the action and seeing it from my perspective. Smart girl, eh? She's getting more used to getting my attention (good for me, too), and we are slowing getting back in to a pattern where I can still be there for her and keep working and settling in. We'll get there, I just know it!

Well, Larry is lovin' life in his nice office down in the basement. I am willing to give up a playroom so that he can be working and not in the middle of all of our lives. He seems to be getting a lot done (or so he says), and that is a good thing!

I am slowly finding a place for everything and everything in its place. I love to be organized, and moving is an opportunity to have a fresh start! I am trying not to clutter up our new nest too much, and so far I've been reasonably successful. It is a tight squeeze, but I am working to make our new digs a home! We've been to our new ward, and I am excited to get to know some new friends. They even have a ward choir! And they sound pretty decent! We'll see what sort of mischief we can get ourselves into...

DRAT!

I sometimes wish I had more self control. I wish that I could have taken a picture tonight instead of getting angry. As I stood at the sink washing out soiled clothing (with what do you ask?), I remembered I didn't get a photo of the fiasco. As Larry and I were working in the garage getting ready for our move, William opened the door and said, "Sarah stuck her hand in the peanut butter and it is all over the carpet." Needless to say, I had many pictures in my mind of what had happened, but for the first time, it was even more messy than I had imagined (possible? I didn't think so). Sarah was sitting, in her pajamas, about 2 feet away from the TV spouting "Snow White." (the TV was spouting, not Sarah.) Both hands were completely (and I mean COMPLETELY) covered in creamy peanut butter. Her face was covered, most of her pjs were covered, and there were several large streaks of peanut butter across our rug (thank goodness not the carpet). I totally freaked out, questioning my other two children who were in the same room. William told me that he was so close to the TV that he didn't notice his little sister behind him (and I am talking inches behind him). YIKES! Not exactly what I was hoping for tonight, to say the least. You will just have to imagine what she looked like.

On another note, can I just say that I love nephews? Our two strapping young lads that live in our town came over tonight and brought everything up from the basement in to the garage. What a wonderful thing! If you don't have nephews, I wish for you a future with some! They are pretty spectacular (and pretty cute, too).

Does this post even make sense? I wrote it in several installments and I didn't read what i had previously written. I hope it comes across the way it was intended.

Yup, the wind has changed...

And we are off on a new adventure! On Jan. 31, we are heading back to Ogden. For how long? Who knows! We are master adventurers, after all. We can handle it! (nervous giggle inserted here--or maybe maniacal giggle)

Our email will remain the same, so no worries there. If you need our street address, just email me or leave a comment.

I read something in this last week that has shaped how I am feeling. Here it is (by Sarah Ban Breathnach):

“Both abundance and lack [of abundance] exist simultaneously in our lives, as parallel realities. It is always our conscious choice which secret garden we will tend . . . when we choose not to focus on what is missing from our lives but are grateful for the abundance that’s present—love, health, family, friends, work, the joys of nature, and personal pursuits that bring us [happiness]—the wasteland of illusion falls away and we experience heaven on earth.”

I am sad to leave my home (and all that home implies--dear friends, opportunities, etc.) in Orem, but I am striving to "tend my secret garden of blessings." I have so much--family, health, strength, talents--I'm working on optimism--to be grateful for that I will focus on what I have rather than what I don't, even if that means friends and experiences that I truly love and have cherished. I know that the only thing that stays with us are our relationships and experiences that have shaped us. I have plenty of those. I am truly blessed. Truly.

So wish us luck...And here we go!

I'll be here till the wind changes...

Don't you just love Mary Poppins? I absolutely love that movie, even though Dick Van Dyke's accent is hilariously not even close. The thing that always got me is that Mary knew when it was time to go. And it was ok. The family was better by then, and although it was sad, it all worked out. Everyone could move on and Mary could go and help some other dysfunctional family. :)

I think life is like that. Sometimes the wind brings change. Sometimes good things have to end so better things can eventually come. But I resist change. Tooth and nail. I just read something today that said, "Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely." Yikes! That is so true. When we resist change and think pessimistically, we are choosing not to grow. We think it is the easier way. After all, they don't call them "growing pains" for nothing! But not growing isn't really easier. We just keep making the same mistakes over and over and hitting our heads against the same wall. Not really a pretty picture, don't you agree? Growing means learning. Learning what is truly important. Learning to smile. Learning the wisdom of "Come what may. And love it."

We all have so much. I have so much to be grateful for. I have a wonderful, faithful husband, loving, healthy children, and my own good health. I know that God lives and loves me individually. I know that Jesus died for me. I have hope in those things. All things will work together for my good, if I will let it. I hope I can embrace change and learn to enjoy it. Now that would be a valuable lesson learned!

Bye, bye, Michael!

Well, with tears in our eyes and our ears buzzing from the "poppers," we said goodbye to Uncle Michael. My little bro has been living with us for a few months, and we are really going to miss him. I think the kids are going to go through major uncle-withdrawal once they figure out that their cartoon-watching buddy has left only to return for a few Sunday dinners now and again. Seriously, though, it has been so wonderful to have him with us. Since he is many years younger than I am, I only remembered him as a little kid (and not always fondly). I left home before he even left elementary school. He has grown into a good man, a fun and caring man who ALWAYS had time for his attention-starved nieces and nephews.

So, untal mi-tal, if you are reading this, WE MISS YOU and WE LOVE YOU!!!!! Remember you always have a warm bed, warm meal, and hugs and loves here waiting for you!

This one is from the kids!

Lauren: We blog for princesses! That's all.

William: We blog for monster trucks! you guys are silly.

Hadland: I like to eat chocolate bars. and blogging for princesses and monster trucks is toot-some.

Mom: So, this is what i get when i ask them what they would like to blog? Well, at least Hadland has his love for bodily functions alive and well. And potty talk--they can't get enough of it. That's pretty normal, right?

happy 2009!

(do you like the new background? I am not fishing for compliments or anything...)

Couldn't wait tonight.

I just had to post. My heart is so full of gratitude. This has been an interesting Christmas season for us, and we have received so many blessings. I think we have been doorbell-ditched about 15 of the 23 days of December with gifts and treats. But tonight, we found a turkey, milk, eggs, oranges, and so much more on our doorstep. I hope that the people who have blessed our lives know how grateful we are to feel their love. We talked tonight with our kids about how we didn't know who was leaving things for us. It could be anyone we meet. And that means that we need to show how grateful we are by the way we treat them. They could be our "secret Santas"! You never know! That made a real impression on me. And the fact that people are truly generous and kind. If you are reading this, secret Santa, THANK YOU! We feel so loved and blessed. We hope we can be as kind to others as we have been treated. I think that would be the greatest "thank you" of all.

Let it snow (and snow and snow)!

Today is the first day of the Christmas break from school, and the weather cooperated beautifully. We woke up to a pretty dark day (I admit I didn't roll out of bed until 8:45 am), but I didn't think much more of it. Then as I was helping the kids through their chores, I happened to look out the window. WOW--the snow was coming down in huge flakes. It took us a while to get to the playing phase of our day, and by the time that came, we all went outside to play. So far, we've made our own sledding hill and TWO snowmen! Sarah went out for the first time and wasn't too happy unless Mommy was holding her. I even took her down the sledding hill a couple of times. I just LOVE snow days around here. William said to me, "I hope we never move to where there is no snow." I have to admit that I agree with him. Our next door neighbors put both of our snowmen to shame with an enormous over-6-feet-tall specimen. I will have to post pics today...we'll see if I have it in me to tear myself away from all the white stuff outside.

I LOVE Christmas traditions...

Problem is, I can't get any to stick for more than 30 seconds.

I have grand ideas, dreams really (or maybe delusions), of a Christmas filled with meaningful traditions that bring us closer to what this season is all about--LOVE, JOY, PEACE. Sometimes we hit love; we have moments of joy; but we rarely experience peace.

It seems that everything just seems thrown together. I think a lot about how I want things to go, but I live a real life (unlike in my dreams) and things don't happen the way I hope they will. I would love to have traditions that build my family and bring us together without losing my mind.

Having said that, we do have one tradition that seems to stick in our family. And mostly because it revolves around sugar: Gingerbread (well, graham cracker) houses.

We seem to do it every year. We do it the way my family (and Yamashitas) did it, not the way the Johnsons did it (much to Larry's chagrin). I just can't get into real gingerbread. (I know, I know, it is not just about me.) He lights up when he tells stories of his mom's waxed paper patterns and crushed-hard-candy-stained-glass-windows. Hopefully, I will be able to do that for him some day. But for now, it is all about simple and how much candy my kids can cement to some graham crackers. Maybe I'll become Martha Stewart-Johnson later in life (yeah, right).

This year, Auntie Nikki helped Lauren make a princess castle that Lauren promptly called "AWESOOOOOOME." William made a split level roof house that had a perfect spot for Santa and his sleigh (and Santa guards, and a fence, and a garage for extra candy--not even glued down, just a repository). Hadland "borrowed" Uncle Treas' tallest-spire creation to add to his ALCATRAZ. Basically it was his creative answer to all the broken graham crackers (he just piled them up on top of each other and glued them together in a haphazard fashion). He worked longer than anyone and has become this generation's answer to Uncle Nathan--candy junky extraordinaire.

I'm going to post this and add in pictures as soon as I can.

But back to the initial question--how have you incorporated traditions (I'm not being picky here--just ANY tradition will do) into your holidays? What has worked? What hasn't? What have you learned to do without and what can you not live without? I would LOVE some help on this one.

Thought for today

I was visiting teaching yesterday (program where 2 women visit and talk about the gospel with another lady in the congregation), and I literally stumbled across my thought of the day. It has occupied much of my thinking time in the last 24 hours, and I thought I would share it:

"The gospel of Jesus Christ has the divine power to lift you to great heights from what appears at times to be an unbearable burden or weakness. The Lord knows your circumstances and your challenges. He said to Paul and to all of us, 'My grace is sufficient for thee.' And like Paul we can answer: 'My strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me' (2 Corinthians 12:9)" ("Have We Not Reason to Rejoice?" President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, Ensign, Nov. 2007, 19).

Amazing. Take a minute to think about that. I guarantee it will make your day happier, more purposeful, and blessedly more humble.

Have a merry day!

Christmas is coming...

The goose is getting fat!

That's ok, as long as no one mistakes me for a goose!

Do you like the new background? I am LOVING the star, although it always kind of shocks me when I first see it. That's not a bad thing--gets me a-thinkin', ya know?

I am excited for Christmas. This is a lean year, so I am looking forward to experiencing a less-commercial season with my family. Wish us luck! (and please forward any of your great ideas/experiences with less presents/stuff)

Secret Givers

I am trying to have some sort of "Christmas" thought each day throughout December. I haven't missed a day yet! Pat myself on the back, you know? Tonight we read the perfect story about a little boy who learned to think more about what he could give rather than what he would receive because his family had started "doorbell ditching" Christmas gifts and surprises to people in their neighborhood. It was perfect because we had a chance to do just that--leave a treat on the porch and run. Although I am quite aerobically fit, I left the ditching and running to our able-bodied boys. What fun! You gotta love an immediate object lesson, right?

I am thankful

Oh, yes I am. I am thankful for a husband who loves me, children who give me hugs at random moments (and go to bed, eventually), siblings and in-laws who laughingly tolerate and appreciate me, parents who sacrificed so much for me (and still do--thanks mom and dad, for coming for L's bday!), and for dear, sweet friends who take time to talk AND listen.

I am thankful to have hope. I am so thankful that I know there is Someone taking care of me, even if I don't realize it. I am glad there is Someone to listen, to care, to understand. I am thankful that there is Someone who loves me, flaws, fear, and all, and is always cheering me on.

What more could a girl ask for?

(except maybe a Trader Joe's nearby...)

If you are wondering about Clearplay

I've had a request for info on Clearplay. In the other post, I've also put a link. Check it out--it is SO worth it!

"You don't have to be perfect"

I was reminded of this thought this morning by a dear, dear friend. So often I feel like I do need to be perfect in order to get the divine help that we need. However, I make mistakes and that is all part of the process. BECAUSE I make mistakes, I need divine help. And He is willing to give it. Thank goodness, right?

I have been prompted lately to be very, very grateful. I am, and I am working to be even more grateful because I have so much to be grateful for. I have been counting them lately, and it really, really helps.